天啊...

還在公司工作....

太煩了, 似小形戰爭, 另外"捨膊"同事,真討厭!!!

個市好, 工作就沒完沒了, 希望今晚不會"太早"吧!

還未如理想...

練琴的進度還未滿意, "4 against 3 ", "8 against 6 " , 一時可以彈到,但轉頭又失敗!! 在這個情況下, 考試時是一定失手的....

算了吧, 最多出年考過啦, 我的Aural都處於放棄狀態, 沒有太多時間練習.... 若果出年都再唔得,咪放棄考試囉, 繼續彈琴都得啫! 以前識一個朋友, 她鋼琴, 小提琴也很好, 但她告訴我她放棄了考試, 因太大壓力, 在考試時"揭"琴譜時, 成本琴譜飛了出來......唉, 算吧!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

這幾天假期...

沒有打算上街, 亦推掉自己喜愛的活動 - 行山, 雖然真的很想去, 但亦真的騰不出這麼多時間, 記望在考試後吧! 感謝這幾天假期,我的生活可以沒有這麼忽忙, 今早我就可以用了差不多兩個鐘頭看報紙,及過了期的雜誌, 也不錯.... 現在練習了亦差不多兩個鐘頭的 fingering, 給自己一個小休, 寫寫東西, 看看網友寫的東西, 留留言給他們也不錯. 剛才練習翻一些很久沒有練的 fingering technique, 接著彈下去的"scale" 效果很好, 真是要看看之後練 exam pieces會怎樣....但是在平日的日子那有這麼多時間練些warm up exercises ah! 通常坐在電腦旁, 都是零晨時份, 現在看見太陽也真舒服呀!!!! 我要繼續了!!

一則報導....

一名少年犯人獲釋, 另他最恩惠的是他殺害了那個外籍女孩的家人原諒了他, 所以 他說生命最大的力量有三種東西: 寛恕 原諒 愛心 我很認同呀, 從來都不會記住朋友的錯處, 吵架的時候會吵得面紅耳赤,但事後總不會記在心,尤其是公司上的事事非非,更不應上心呀. 但反觀很多人郤事事計算得失, 別人可能無意得罪他們, 他們就會千方百計去報復, 這樣會活得開心嗎?

Ways of Struggling...

Just randomly pick a book from the bookshelf and randomly pick a chapter to read, quite fit my feelings at the moment. Here are some extracts from "The Art of Practising" by Madeline Bruser: "....musicians are harder on themselves than dancers or actors, and have a more difficult time with their work. This is partly because musicians work primarily alone, and when they eventually play for an audience it is overwhelming. Also, performing music requires extreme precision. Because of the need for this precision, musicians are also more susceptible to noticeable memory lapses than other performers. They are afraid of "blanking out" or making blunders in front of an audience." I can never be a musician just I want to play good music. Hope I can spare some time out to read more chapters on these public holidays.

感謝言...

衷心感謝網友, 朋友的鼓勵.....你們的留言/email, 我都一一貼上office 的notice broad上, 時不時睇吓, 心裡面真的舒緩了很多. 整日的心情都還未放鬆, 仍在思想鬥爭, 但我會努力的. 可能今次我真的太認真投入, 不知是好是壞? 活了這麼多十年好像沒有承受過太多壓力, 係時候好好段練了! 亦感謝這裡提供一個好地方給我們舒發情感, 暢所欲言,,,, 寫出心中的感受,一直是我細過的習慣, 以前寫過日記, 還儲起很多零碎紙條, 也寫過很多內心感受給以前的男友,不知他掉了未有? 朋友們, 假期愉快!

沈重的壓力...

開始懷疑努力負出,是不是會收回成果? 或是徒然? 昨日的失敗令我開始害怕彈琴. 一直都不喜歡在公眾表演, 可能沒有自信吧, 嘗試行出這個困局, 但換來是更害怕,,,, 我能克服嗎? 考試前夕, 心理的壓力加上其他不同因素, 我發覺自己的表現還比平日差很多,怎辦? 老生常談,放鬆吧, 但很老實說, 是絶對不易為的. 這一次係我咁大個人最認真做事的一次, 還認真過對自己一個100%喜歡的男朋友, 但是....... 昨晚的不開心就好像以前大失戀一樣, 對什麼也提不起勁......真的很害怕...... 怎辦? 多謝黃朋友, 鄭朋友(次序按講電話的先後排)的安慰, 鼓勵....我終於感受到黃朋友那次的不開心..... 是不是真的喊了出來會舒服些?? 係的話, 我也希望遲些會好一點....

可以感動你的歌/音樂...

好音樂會另我感動, 觸動心弦, 皮膚起"雞皮"..... 我好希望知道是不是每一個人都有另他們感動的音樂?? 或是一首心底的歌, 久不久就會在心中唱起來呢? 另我感動的歌有很多,但真的會觸動心弦, 起"雞皮"的有: 盧冠庭的一首舊歌: "借夜闌靜處"(不知是否正確的歌名) 最近的有Ray Charles 唱 Sorry seems to be the hardest word 我的心底歌是明星(葉得嫻版本), 這首歌久不久就會在心中唱起來ah! 一首極喜歡的音樂Concierto De Aranjuez (2nd movment), 相信很多人或者會聽過這首音 樂, 但不知它的名字, 它很多時都會在電視劇/電影出現. 一首真的會令你流淚的音樂.

I am down, my computer is down....

Only 2 weeks left for the exam.... I just noticed from the calendar yesterday as I prefer not to check the calendar recently. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ (trembling)

Besides, I have the 2nd recital on the coming Sun, still not sure what to play.... play the one believe I can handle (it is a slow movement (Andante) but I am afraid the people will fall to sleep) or play the fast movement in front of the public (I don't have confidence, it makes me nervous.... ) Oh gosh!

By the way, what upset me most was I found out that my practising these two days were a bit sluggish, still can't manage some techniques well and some parts which I could go through before became worst now.

My home computer was liked me, down down down!!!

Anyway, I will be fine tomorrow, don't worry!

p.s. thanks for the encouragement from one of my friend's email, it really comforts me.

義務工作...

最近有位同事問我有冇興趣做義工,但我推掉了.... 不知他有沒有自已去做?

其實以前自己曾經連續做了兩,三年長期, 短期的義務工作,是很喜歡的. 令我最深刻印象是到醫院探訪未期cancer病人和電話輔導工作. 因工作關係, 這兩個服務都終止了.

記得當初開始義務工作時是自己在生命中最迷失,最失落的時候, 完全沒有了方向, 但是,當你在幫助別人的時候, 所帶來的喜悅, 也是在幫助自己, 這是千真萬確ah!

但我有一個疑惑是,為何去幫助別人都有年齡限制??因為有很多服務是不適合30歲以上, 或只適合18-25歲申請.....奇怪??

無論如何, 將來如果有時間的話, 我仍希望有機會做電話輔導工作,是很有挑戰性的, 不過身邊的朋友大多不感興趣!

施比受更有福呀!

Bach's music...

... is particularly qualified to develop the fingers in conjunction with musical expression and thematic characterisation.

I believe many people will play Bach's Prelude & Fugue in the coming exam, the following is a definition of them (extracted from Piano Playing - Josef Hofmann):

Prelude - as something which intentionally precedes and fitting introduces a main action (as an introduction), fits the musical Prelude perfectly.

Fugue - is the most legitimate representation of true polyphony (combination of several melodic patterns to form a single piece of music). A Fugue is the flight of one musical thought through many voices or parts, subject to strict rules.

For me, it can inspires myself to play better if I can understand their particular meaning.

My favourite Bach's music are the Brandenburg Concertos No. 2 in B minor, especially the "Polonaise" and Air in D major (this is a very pop one which appeared in the movie "seven sins")

學琴後的心情...

其實,每一次上堂我都十分投入及專注,可能自己真的十分喜歡彈琴及有一位好老師吧! 雖然自己曾經放棄彈琴一段頗長的日子, 在別人眼中,我現在這個年齡仲咁認真去學琴,考試,係比較奇怪D, 可能根本我就係一個怪人ah! 但係, 我覺得,現在學/玩音樂的感受比以前細過的時候大大不同. 以前就好像一部機器, 十分公式化. 現在我先發現什麼是音樂, 怎樣去演譯音樂, 怎樣用音樂去感動人, 怎樣認真去看音樂 ..... 這些都是小朋友不能領會的.

我真的很希望可以放下工作,專心去彈琴1-2年, 但現在來說,真的是一個夢想ah!!!


(P.S. 今晚好大機會工作到好夜(oh, 應該係好早....)冇哂心機, 因為明天會精神唔夠, 悲哀!)

What a FAKE world...

I read an article from "Post Magazine" today about some Chinese companies (privately owned) in mainland China in order to build their image or win business, they are recruiting white foreigners including students, actors, backpackers, English teachers to act as western executives for an hour or day. The pay to those "actors" is about RMB5,000 and their roles were only as a foreign face, nothing more. So ridiculous!! I really dislike fake things, phoney faces but is it normal if you want to survive in the business world and be successful?

擇錄自幾米 - 地下鐵:

"昨日的悲傷, 我已遺忘, 可以遺忘的, 都不再重要!!" 第一次看到已經很鍾意, 很配合當時的心情. 今晚再次聽翻這張CD, 再次睇翻這四句, 就記下來吧!

今天 (只開始了2個鐘頭)....

起床後要游水, 最近運動很不足夠! 食我喜歡的大排檔style的魚片艇仔粥及腸粉, yummie, yummie...!! 練習, 練習, 練習... !!!

昨天(.其實只是2個鐘頭前)...

很想食喇沙, 就在翻工前食了一碗很美味的喇沙麵. 繼海南雞飯後, 喇沙麵是我有興趣找尋全香港最好食的 ! 終於買了Jacqueline du Pre 的CD !! 收到了在 ebay bid 的 tote bag, 很喜歡 !!! 練琴時有領會: 如果可以彈到括了出去, 效果比較好, 不過很難做到!!!!

A belated birthday wish to my dear friend....

Just checked out the date is already 17th September and I missed my best friend's BD. I am so so sorry and will give you a call first thing in the morning.

I have no excuse, just my daily routine in the weekdays is wake up, a tiny breakfast, practice practise and practise, then a fast lunch and rush to work. I even can read the newspaper on the MTR.

So my friend, you should understand me right?

Wish you forever young, 靚 靚 靚! 身體健康, 不用看醫生!!

See you in December!

Communicate with kids...

I am constantly communicated with 2 kids through email / internet recently. The first one is my lovely nephew whom is 9 years old boy, and the 2nd one is Sachu, 13 years old, a little girl from Spain. It is my great pleasure to communicate with them. Kids are so naive, straight-forward and never say false things. Reading their messages is just like you are entering in the kid's world and escape away from the cruel reality.

I notice that they usually end the message by "pls send back fast" something like this, well, are all kids longing for some feed back, or it is natural that humans are hoping for some responses from others?!

a little sharing with people who play instrument.....

There are two ways to make good music:

1. play technically well, playing exactly what is written, perfectly and
2. simply to make music.

Practice hard folks!

Recommendation 3..

Have you ever heard of a man's humming just like the music from an instrument? Once I watched a DVD about YoYo Ma, he was playing cello and I heard there was another nice music accompanied with the cello, at that moment I thought there might be two cellos playing together. Well, I was wrong, it was Bobby Mcferrin humming together with YoYo Ma while he was playing the cello. I was a bit stunned, how fabulous his sound was.

That piece of music is, if I could remember, "Beethoven's 7th". I must buy this CD.